The wedding is over and the excitement of planning the wedding is now a memory. As you settle into life as a married couple, you’re learning to be honest with yourself and to live in a way that you’ll both be happy. A happy marriage is one where you are cherished, supported and respected. There are times when challenges of daily living, big or small, call for honesty and compromise. Here are some tips to help you ride the waves.
Listen more than you talk
You can find out a lot about how your spouse if you concentrate on what they are saying. This means not drifting off to thoughts or composing a reply in your own head whilst they are still speaking. You trust each other enough to have taken the vows of marriage, so trust that what your spouse has to say is worthy of your time. You don’t have to share the same level of enthusiasm or frustration that they are expressing, but it will give you a chance to get to know your spouse even better than you already do. When you already know each other better, a wife would know when her husband organises a surprise dinner for their wedding anniversary, for example, so she can visit Anniversary Gifts For Husband.com and choose the best gift for her husband to surprise him too.
Trust in each other
Sometimes your partner will do something that you find irritating. Don’t assume that they are doing this to purposely annoy you. They may have no idea that you don’t like it. Don’t raise your voice or get upset, just calmly state what you don’t like. Keep a sense of humour and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Pick your battles!
It’s easy to create big arguments from petty annoyances, but try to let these go. What the other does may not be wrong, it may just be different to how you would behave. Your partner may not even be aware that it bothers you, so tell them kindly what upsets you. No one likes harsh words and raised voices.
If you partner does something that really bothers you, then talk about this calmly and without accusation or name-calling so that between you a solution can be found. If it irritates you that laundry is left on the floor all over the house, put laundry baskets in every room. If it irritates that he channel surfs, let him know what shows you want to watch so that he can continue with his channel hopping outside of those times.
A common argument in marriage is around money. If one is a spender and the other a saver, develop a budget you’re both happy with. Whatever your issues around money, talk it out as it’s one of the main reasons relationships break down when no compromise is agreed.
Neither spouse is responsible for the others happiness. Gender stereotypes don’t fit everyone. It’s not automatically the woman’s role to do all the cooking and cleaning. Neither wants to nag or be nagged, so find ways to share responsibilities so that you create a routine that involves you both i.e.,’”You wash, I’ll dry”. Find tasks that you each enjoy and compromise on the others.
Take responsibility in the good times too. Reciprocate your partner’s attention, support and love. Give gifts you know they will adore for their birthday. Give gifts at any time you want to say thank you or to show your affection for your partner. Gifts don’t have to be big and expensive, it really is the thought that counts. A single red rose, a personalised bracelet, tickets to their favorite game, a dance lesson. Choose something that suits their style and personality.
The only secrets you can keep from each other are the gifts you buy for their birthday, anniversary or other celebratory occasion. Having no secrets shows you each trust one another with every detail of your lives. If you are lying, know that the truth will come out eventually.
Marriage is hard work at times. You may be tired, stressed, over-worked, feeling unwell. Make allowances for yourself and your partner. Don’t expect perfection. Apologise for mistakes and forgive as soon as you can. Avoid being critical and defensive. Always be kind to each other. Maintain a sense of humour. The rough times can bring you closer together. It’s called teamwork.